What is this place?

Call it an oddity, call it backwards, call it plain crazy, but it appears that the Anaheim Ducks have traveled into another dimension. Be careful, you might find yourself trapped in a tesseract with Matthew McConaughey...

"stay"

Either that or Barstool Bob did in fact sell his soul to trade Bryan Allen & Sbisa, and now the Devil is collecting his due. Inside this 5th dimension we find that the Ducks have scored only 1 goal in 245 mins of game play (regulation and 3v3 OT), Anaheim were shut out in games 1,3, and 4. And boy, a lot of us have been scratching our heads wondering what in Sam Hell is going on. As the lads get ready to take on the Wild this evening, I for one am wondering if they'll score on the opposing team and come out with a win before they hit the road. I'm not panicking, but I'm a little concerned. With a poor start like this, you have some fans resorting to plain dumb nutball conspiracy theories. The best one I heard yesterday was that the team are purposely losing to get coach Kirby (Boudreau) fired... yes, that's right, "fired". To those people I say this: stand still while I throw my shoe as hard as I can at your head. Now repeat 2x's.

For me, it's not that they've lost and have started the season on a weird losing streak, but it's how they're losing. Game 3 at home against the Yotes, the Ducks were just stupid, and I don't mean that in a cool-hip modern slang way the rap kids are saying nowadays, no, I literally mean that I lost a high amount of whatever brain cells I have left watching that game...and I was sober! It was just atrocious as well as dumbfounding how this team did pretty well in the pre-season when it didn't matter. I didn't get to watch the game on Friday night against the Avs, in which the new orangey-orange 3rd jersey was "revealed" (we knew what it looked like months ago when leaked), but from what I heard in post-game reports, the team played a lot better. Yet, with all that, just 1 goal. That's what troubles me. 

The players have stated that they're pissed and at the same time positive this will pass, but as I've said before when hearing the same ol' repeated words stated by players over and over again, "just shut up and do it". Tonight, we'll get to see if they'll back up their mundane drivel out on the ice. Hopefully, they'll sew up whatever tear they made in the space time continuum and all will go on as normal. Until then, mind the wormhole. 

Go Ducks!

Injury rapport: in all this whacky mess, it was announce that Stoner and Depres have been placed on IR. Depres took a nice elbow to the head from Avs Dman, Tyson Barrie (which earned him a 3-game suspension), and Stoner probably got jumped by some bears. Thus placing Manson onto the ice with call-ups for SD Gulls Dmen Shea "Teddy" Theodore and Korbinianianianian Holzer (who probably won't get any ice time cause Holzer). Also, Anaheim had to send Chris Wagner through waivers in order to be sent down to SD. Dear Lawdy, please let him clear.