Stanley Cup Playoffs Series Preview

[Gaudreau: "Sean! Why the black bar??" Monahan: "I'll tell you when you're 14." photo: R. Graessle/Icon Sportswire]

Round 1 - Ducks v Calgary: Let's Get Perverty!

WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT! READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Ok, got that out of the way. With Anaheim clinching the Pacific Division title for the "fif" consecutive time (...yay...), they will face off against the second wild card team in the Western Conference on Thursday night at the Honda Center. 

Now, before I go any further, I'd like to thank my dear friend Tara who pointed this out to me a couple of years ago. Because of her, my eyes were opened and I can no longer unsee what I will show you.

As I disclaimed at the beginning of this post, the content will be explicit, and the reason is because the team that the Ducks will take on in the first round are none other than those disgustingly-despicable perverts from Calgary who, for all these years, have deceived the world by disguising their logo with the letter C when in fact they're actually using a phallic symbol engulfed in flames. Allow me to show you the shocking proof which I've highlighted:

The evidence is appallingly clear, and their use of an immature penis logo is downright distasteful. Flames owner, Nasty Murray Edwards, should be ashamed of himself! Especially with the troubling fact that the these pervs from Calgary employ 11 year old star forward, Johnny Gaudreau. Absolutely classless. But hey, what do you expect from a club that's captained by Dustin Brown's School of Making Dirty Knee-On-Knee Hits Look Like Accidents alumni Mark Giordano?

Either way, this out to be an interestingly-sinful first round.

Go Ducks!

Prediction: Those in attendance during the first round are given hazmat suits to prevent contracting any terrible flaming Calgarian diseases while parents cover the eyes of their children for at least 60 minutes of gameplay.